Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in Emily's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
12:07 pm	Spring Break Dialectic Spring Break is at the same time exciting and boring. For you communication nerdos like myself, you will recognize this phenomena as a dialectic (the tension between two opposing forces). I am super happy not to be in school for nine days (I count the weekends, my friends), but on only the fourth day, I am bored. I made a whole list of things to do over spring break so I wouldn't get bored. This list includes things like homework (both for MSU grad. class and for school), working out, spring cleaning, playing with my dog, organizing, etc. Several things have been crossed off of this list. Yay. But despite the fact that there are many more things on the list, I have no motivation to do any of them. I want to socialize with living things that are not my dog (or the squirrels in the backyard which he chases). Spring break is no fun if all of your friends have jobs like normal people and don't get spring break. Dog and I have taken two two-hour long walks and gone to the dog park twice in just three days. Dog is happy; I am sick of his company. He sleeps on the floor next to me as I write this. I write this solely because on some level it makes me feel like I am connecting with other people. If you are out there, also not doing anything, call me, dear friends. Current Mood: bored Current Music: Dog snores (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
6:42 pm	It's been long enough... Okay, enough has happened in my life to merit updating. My blogging motivation (or lack thereof) is odd because when I resisted the blogging world for many months one of the reasons was my fear that I would blog all of the time, thus using precious time that should be spent on other things. Alas, I blog very infrequently. I'm also pretty convinced that no one reads it anyway, so I shouldn't worry. Okey, dokey. Three major things have happened to me in the last two months: 1. I became the Head Speech Coach at school. It is a lot of responsibility that I am very nervous about, but it is my passion and it pays pretty well. Well enough at least to quit waitressing. Yay for quitting waitressing. 2. Patrick and I moved in together, or rather, I moved in to his house. When one moves, one realizes: I have a lot of stuff!!! Patrick has a nice small house in Minneapolis, and it is now full of my stuff. And I even got rid of a bunch of crap. You wouldn't believe the Goodwill donations I've made over the last couple of weeks. But after a long, hard move we are now unpacked and living happily together... 3....with a new addition to the family. Yes, that's right. Patrick got me a puppy for Christmas. He is actually about a year old, as we got him at the Humane Society, but let me tell you, that is still puppydom. He is a black and white pointer/lab cross named Jersey. He is very well behaved, despite the puppy like behaviors. I love him. So, to sum up: Life is grand. Happy New Year, all! Current Mood: happy Current Music: None, just the sound of my dog playing with his chew (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
8:56 pm	And it's only Tuesday.... It's only Tuesday. In a mere three days, I have experienced more ups and downs than one should during the first week of October. I'm like the weather... 1. Sunday night Pat and I went to the Foo Fighers and Weezer concert. This was my birthday gift to him (his birthday is the 12th). We had dinner beforehand at Patrick McGovern's and watched the Vikings get their asses kicked. However, it was good food and a fun place. I would go back. The concert was most awesome. I've never been to a concert of that size before. The Xcel had to have been sold out. Thousands of people all there with the same general purpose. I don't know that I've ever experienced something like that before. It was intense. Oh, yeah, the music rocked too. 2. I called in sick on Monday to sleep in and clean my apartment. Sometimes, you just have to play hookey. It was fun. Monday night Pat came over and I made dinner. Then we went to Ikea. Yes, for fun. We are both considering buying some things, but we like to look and consider. That's the kind of people we are. Pat bought potholders for a whoppin ninety-nine cents a piece. God bless mass production. Then we came back to my place and cuddled. Naturally. 3. I was busted. One of my students saw me at the concert and accused me of not coming to school Monday because of it. ....Naturally, I lied. Then we discussed the concert. I'm cooler in her eyes now. Ha. 4. For my birthday (three months ago) Pat bought me a gift certificate to a cool little salon in Minneapolis called SPOT. I had an appointment in August, but it was cancelled because the salon flooded. (The irony is yet to come.) Tonight was my appointment. Words cannot describe the ecstasy. This massage was a very close second to good sex. Very close. My therapist, Nell, suggested I have a steam afterward to further relax my muscles. Sounds good, I thought. And good it was my friends; good it was. She brought in a big fluffy white terrycloth robe and flipflops and led me to the steam. I was still "high" from my great massage, and this was just the icing on the cake. I sat in a 108 degree steam room (naked....never done that before) and just felt the stress and toxins melting away. The steam room is also a shower with all of their expensive products for my use. So I used. It was magnificent. When I got out and got dressed, I immediately booked another appointment. This experience will become monthly for me, even if I have to pick up extra shifts at the restaurant to pay for it. All I can say is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 5. Then, I walked outside and it was POURING!!! Lucky for me, there is a pub across the street from the spa. Whitey's. Fun place. I was soaked to the bone, just walking across the street however, so I decided to have a glass of wine, a salad, and wait for the rain to pass. But pass it did not. It just kept on. Hmmmmm. What to do? If I stayed, I would want more wine. If I left, I would make it home eventually, but probably be quite wet. It wasn't freezing, just wet, so I decided I'd forge the storm. With fond wishes from the bartender, I ventured off. This was my first mistake. I had parked three blocks away to avoid parking meter costs (this is why people should not be cheap). By the time I reached my car I was again drenched. I had also effectively ruined my favorite Born sandals. Oh well, I got an entire summer's wear out of them. I took off my shoes and my shirt to be more comfortable. I couldn't feasibly take off my jeans, but trust me, I wanted to. So I started cautiously trying to manuever myself to 35W. According to my handy King's guide, I should just stay on E. Hennepin (this is where the spa is) and it would magically take me to 35. MISTAKE. Two blocks later, I was in knee-deep water. I now know what a flash flood is. And it sucks. I was able to pull of onto a driveway before I got stuck, but several people around me were not so lucky. There were cars stuck everywhere. They were trying to push each other out, and many were just walking up and down the roadside trying to figure out what to do next. I was above the water level, but effectively stuck. What does one do in an emergency such as this? She calls her boyfriend for advice. What does one do when said boyfriend is at band practice and not answering his phone? Call her friend's husband instead. So, Travas told me that I should not wait for the water level to go down because it would be hours. He told me to stay in first and very slowly get myself out of there. Because I was in Tracker and not a car, he was pretty sure I'd be okay as long as I went slowly. He promised to "get me out of there" if that didn't work. Luckily, it did. I found my way down to University, to 35W and to 55 East. Pat lives right off 55. I called Trav to let him know I was safe (God bless friends' husbands) and to thank him and headed to Pat's. He is in Lakeville at band practice. I am sitting at his computer typing this in his sweats. I stripped my disgustingly wet clothes, watched some telly, and decided to chronicle this night. Lesson learned: A good ass-rubbing by Nell may result in a good ass-kicking by Mother Nature. Current Mood: thankful Current Music: The Amazing Race (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 3rd, 2005
9:58 am	Long time, no blog... ...and I actually have things to say! (I realize how sporadic my blogging is, but I think that's good. I did not fall into the trap of being blog-obsessed like some people. Few people comment, not all of my friends even know it exists, and I just do it when I'm reallllllly bored.) Topic Numero Uno: School School starts on Tuesday and I won't be there (see Topic Numero Dos). Starting a new job is great. Starting a new job in a brand new building is way cool. But having a substitute start your job for you is just a little weird. It is always stressful enough preparing for the new school year, but this was an added edge. There are certain things you usually leave in notes for the sub that were just impossible. So, my substitute will meet my students before me; I can deal. I'm a mystery. They'll walk in on Thursday being very excited to meet me. When they see me, they will be pleased. "Oh, good. She's not a hag." I almost hope my substitute (or Guest Teacher, as they preferred to be called in Lakeville) is mean or something so I'll be a breath of fresh air for them. (Yes, although it is not our number one priority, teachers do prefer it when their students like them.) The new school is too grand to adequately blog about now. Perhaps there will be random cool things about my school throughout the year. Here is the first one: My lights automatically go on and off. I know, I know, the lights in Armstrong do that. But my lights have an automated dimmer to adjust the lighting level to the amount of light coming in from the windows. Rainy, cloudy? More light from above. Bright and sunny? Less light from the fluorescent tubes. Way cool. Plus, Dakota Electric gave the school something like $250,000 to reward them for their energy concious designs. Topic Numero Dos: The Making of Mrs. Steen In twenty-four hours I will be flying above the earth. Destination: Las Vegas. T-minus three days until the wedding. I am very excited. Again, it's all too great to put into words right now. It will most likely be easier to blog about when I get back. The trip anyway. The wedding is a whole other thing. My big sister is getting married. Married. She will be a wife who has a husband. Weird. I am sure it will all be wonderfully perfect, but she's a little freaked out. I am freaking out only because of all the stuff that needed to be done in the last week (my sister is a champion procrastinator). The groom did not have a shirt and tie until Thursday. I typed and printed the programs yesterday. The flowers have still not been ordered. And we are praying the wedding dress shows up. This is not your ordinary wedding. (Les has to check her dress; it's a little nerve-wracking.) Also, besides this being the first family vacation my family as had in like 10 years, a lot of my favorite people will be there as well. Much, much fun is out there waiting for us to have it. Current Mood: nervous Current Music: Home Life- John Mayer (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
11:15 am	Another year older... And so I am 24. I always thought 24 sounded old until I started dating someone 29. He says I have to be at least a quarter century before I can even think of being old. However, he also says that you're only as old as you feel, so some days I'm like 43. All in all I had a great birthday, but it wasn't celebrated in one day. I got love four days in a row. A recap of my week: Sunday: Not much in the way of celebrating, but Angie stopped by with a gift. I like gifts. Especially ones from Angie. Except she always outgifts me. See, her birthday is only 8 days from mine, and I can never find her anything worthy of the gift she has just given me. I am at a total loss this year, so if anyone has any suggestions, let me know. Monday: Up early to volunteer at the WRC. As I haven't blogged in a long while, I will explain. The Wildlife Rehab Center is where my sister works. She is the Mammal Nursery Coordinator. When I moved up here, she got me to start giving up my Monday mornings for the good of the animals. I spend four hours feeding baby bunnies and squirrels. No fooling. It's great fun. However, this particular Monday was not a good one; it was the first time I found dead bunnies in their cages. See, sometimes the animals just don't make it, they just can't be rehabilitated. Such is life. But I didn't like being the one who had to find them in their cages. It was a bummer. But the day got much better. (This is your standard run-of-the-mill intriguing transition...did it work?) When I returned to The Valley (as the boy so lovingly calls it) Heather and I headed to the light rail to meet Anne downtown for lunch. See Anne's birthday is today, so Heather figured she could cover us in one day by treating us for lunch. So we walked down Nicollet Mall, met Anne (looking fine in her suit with her official Target name badge), and had a great lunch at The Newsroom. After Anne had to go back to work, Heather and I shopped a little. We felt very cosmopolitan. It was fun. After many hours of Heather, I headed to Mankato. I visited Angie at work and she was able to take a break and come with me to B&N for a snack. They have great pretzels, by the way. Then I went to chat with my mom for a spell. She always enjoys surprise visits. Then I hung out with my friend Chris. I kicked his ass thoroughly at Scrabble, he bought me dinner, and we lounged in his new hot tub. It was quite the day. Tuesday: Actual birthday. Slept until 12:30. Did nothing until going to work at 4. Got off work at 9. (Some good birthday tips when I could manage to work it into my table talk.) Patrick came over after band practice to give me a gift and some amazing birthday sex. He gave me a gift certificate to a swanky spa downtown called SPOT. I booked a massage for next week. I'll let you know if it was better than the birthday sex... Wednesday: Since I didn't have to work, I was taken out to dinner by a very handsome man. He even got dressed up (which he hates). We were both looking fine and riding the light rail; destination: Nicollet Mall. (Apparently, this is my new favorite area to frequent for meals.) We walked around for a bit before deciding on McCormick and Schmick's Seafood. SOOOOOOOOO good! I had spinach and artichoke stuffed tilapia. Yu-uh-um. We walked a bit more, then met Anne and Josh at Players in the MOA (we took the train) for drinks and dessert. Delish. Then we went home and had more amazing birthday sex...hee hee. So now it is Thursday morning and I have no plans until I work at 5. Life is surely going to change next month when I have to start getting up at 5:30 every day. The old saying is true; Three reasons I love teaching: June, July, and August. Ta, ta! Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Y & R (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 17th, 2005
11:40 am	For Suzanne Suzanne last night complained that I have not updated my blog recently, despite having a boyfriend with internet access. I of course pointed out the hypocrisy of this statement, considering she blogs about once an eon. But, as I am a good friend, this is for Suzanne: There once was a girl from Sioux Falls, who... She... and... I've got no talent for limericks at all. Wow. That was really heartfelt and special. Blogtastic update on the status quo: working in Apple Valley, moving there in a week or so, got excellent teaching assignments from Lakeville, will be coaching speech, planning Les's wedding in full swing, spending lots more time with boyfriend, and basically enjoying the summer. I don't think anyone reads this who doesn't know all that already, but what Suzanne wants, Suzanne gets. Current Mood: mellow Current Music: The tremendous hum of Patrick's huge computer (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
3:22 pm	You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Today was the last day of school. I still have to come tomorrow for a work day, but this was my last day with students. Twenty-five minutes ago, nineteen seniors left room 319 forever; tomorrow, I will do the same. I know it sounds cheesy and ridiculous, but I didn't feel this sad when I left West. I've said from the beginning that the people here are amazing, but I had no idea how much it would affect me. I purposely didn't wear mascara this morning, and boy am I glad. I am leaving here today with my arms laden with gifts and cards. My department threw me a going away breakfast this morning, including a very nice card and an even nicer Target gift card; my students (well some of them) brought me cookies, cards, cans of pop, flowers, and Snickers bars galore (they know they're my favorite); some of my friends outside the department gave me cards and pictures they had taken; and countless people just stopped by to wish me well. This is HARD. Everyone has left jobs before, but teaching in a small school has been like family. I mean, my assistant principal took me apartment hunting last summer! They care. It will be a very odd feeling when I turn in my keys tomorrow and walk out the door. It sure is a good thing Boyfriend comes home tomorrow, or I'd be a puddle for sure. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: The silence only an empty hallway can offer (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
8:21 am	My students have brought my spirit back I sit here during prep (when else would I blog?) correcting assignments. My seventh-graders had to write seven poems, one of which needed to be an ode. I came across this one as I was reading: An Ode to Ms. Waterston Ms. Waterston is a teacher, A listener, A friend, She taught us so many things, But soon the year will end. Next year she is leaving, We will all miss her so, There's so many of us here, Who do not want her to go. Ms. Waterston is a joy. She is creative and she's smart, And any person would tell you She has A LOT of heart! So here's to Ms. Waterston, Best wishes go to you, We all love you so very much, Go make your dreams come true! THIS is why sucking up works. Because even when I recognizes the brown smudges on the student's nose, it still makes me smile. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Dancing Nancies- DMB (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 27th, 2005
8:25 am	Pet Peeves Alive and Well I have two main pet peeves as far as people are concerned. (Procrastination is not one of them, as I am supposed to be using my prep. time right now to write finals. I am doing this instead.) It bothers me when people a)think the rules don't apply to them, and/or b)want to get something for nothing. The following are examples of these situations from the past five days. On Monday after school, the principal and the senior counselor strolled into my room. I knew immediately whom we were going to be discussing. I have a particular senior who failed third quarter, so he took night school to cover that F (the grading is really weird here: each quarter is half a credit, the averages are not taken into account). His father has been an excellent communicator, always calling and coming to conferences. This is rare for the parent of a senior. Well, this student has been failing fourth quarter for two months. I keep telling him what he needs to do to improve his grade and he never does any of it. He is currently at 50% (you need 60 to pass). So, the principal and the counselor come in basically to tell me they're going to pass him. Okay, so, not really. But they came in to discuss his "options". In my opinion, his only option is to fail. There is no way he deserves anything but an F. But because he and his parents have complained enough and because "he passed all of his other classes", they are going to pass him. But the kicker is, I have to be the one to do it. I have to obey orders, if you will. I told them straight out that I don't think he deserves to pass (don't worry, I gave them a great list of reasons), and that I will do what they tell me, but I cannot support it. I am literally compromising my own beliefs about education and teaching because they told me to. Maybe I won't miss this district so much after all. Tuesday at MGM, there was an attempted robbery. Not a gun-wielding, "give me all your money" type robbery, just someone shoplifting. But he was a complete idiot about it. He conceals the bottle (of Hennessey) while he was shopping. The manager on stocking noticed it. So, he told the other cashier and me to make sure he checks out with the Hennessey. Thankfully, he went to the other register, not mine. He paid for some stuff (with a check...duh) and just kept the Hennessey down at his side under his shirt. The cashier could see it! She gave him the benefit of the doubt, and waited until he was leaving the store before saying, "Are you going to pay for that?" He said, "Huh?" and kept walking. She called the manager. The manager followed the guy and wrote down his license plate. Three minutes later the guy decides to come back and says he thought the cashier had rung it up. He completely blamed it on her!!! What a fool! (I have since quit MGM. For lack of a better explanation, it sucked.) I have an eighth grade student. She is a very good student. One of those students who thinks she can get away with anything just because she's smart. When it was her turn to present her musical poetry project (lengthy explanation withheld as you are probably getting bored), her CD was not in its case. I told her she was unprepared and would have to go next week with the rest of the students who were unprepared at the time of their presentations. She cried. She worried her grade would suffer. I told her 4 points wasn't going to affect her 96%. She went home and complained to her mom anyway. I got an angry phone call. Sigh. Boyfriend is in Texas for two weeks, so I have nothing better to do than complain. I am missing him terribly already, so I'm crabby. Perhaps that is why I am feeling so cynical toward the annoying people of the world, like the ones listed above. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
7:43 am	Job Episode II Okay, I was holding back yesterday; I actually have two new jobs. Last night I worked my first shift as part-time cashier at MGM Liquor Warehouse in Mankato. I need the part-time work for the extra cash to pay for my sister's wedding. (I don't have to pay for the actual wedding, but it's in Vegas, so I have to pay for the trip and all of its hilarity.) I'm not proud as a peacock to be working as a cashier, but one of the many things I learned on my first shift is that anonymity and/or discretion is pretty much impossible. Here are the things I learned my first night on the job: 1. Everyone drinks. I was literally amazed at how many people I saw that I knew until one of my managers said, "Well, how many people do you know who drink?" I guess that makes sense, but on a Monday night? I'm not kidding, either. I saw (among others) my doctor, colleagues from SPHS, parents of students from SPHS, friends from high school, acquaintences from high school, college professors, and acquaintences from college. AND THAT'S JUST ONE MONDAY NIGHT! SHEESH! Lay off the booze people. (Just kidding.) 2. This may be the easiest job I've ever had, which is probably why it pays $6.50/hr. After waitressing for four years, a job in which I could earn $150 in a night, this $150 a week could be a little heart-wrenching. I plan on looking for another job already, but the 30% discount may keep me around a little longer than I'd like. Hee hee. 3. Six packs don't come like that! The liquor store makes them. Actually, the cashiers make them. And it is hard. I'm one of those fools who has trouble getting the can OUT of the rings when I want one; can you imagine how long it took me to put the cans IN the rings? The young lady (I can say that 'cuz she's 20) who trained me could do three entire six packs in the time it took me to do three cans. She promises I'll get the hang of it. 4. I look good in a red polo. Or, at least I would assume so, as men find it okay to hit on the cashier. Two men found it acceptable to leave their "cards" with phone numbers. I found it acceptable to throw them in the trash after they left. Sounds about right, don't you think? 5. Standing for six hours straight sucks. 'Nuff said. I, of course, also learned real job things like how to recognize a fake, how to sell lottery tickets, how to use the PA system and register, but the actual training took less than an hour. Then they left me alone to cashier. "Holler if you need anything." Okay. Well. That's pretty trusting. Lucky for them, I'm a customer service genius as well as a quick-thinking, problem-solving individual. Did I have any problems that needed to be solved? Just one: the guy who dropped his forty of Budweiser in my line. "Clean up on register one!" I've always wanted to say that. Current Mood: bored Current Music: "Music" Madonna (Comment on this)
Monday, May 16th, 2005
9:22 am	JOB!!!!!!!!!!!! Short and sweet: I got a new job. YAY!!!!! I will be moving to the suburbs and enjoying my new job at Lakeville South High School (the BRAND NEW one opening this fall) later this summer. I'm looking for an extremely affordable apartment within 30 minutes of Lakeville. If you know of one, let me know. Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: "Brian Wilson" BNL (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
8:19 am	Jello anyone? Last night boyfriend and I were on the phone. I mentioned that I was waiting for my Jello to get hard. He thought this was hilarious. It was, but it was also quite true. On Saturday, I got hungry for Jello. I was literally craving Jello. So, I bought two boxes: strawberry kiwi and lime, both fat and sugar free. I made the s-k box while he was with me on Saturday night. He had a couple of bites, but mostly seemed to think it was funny that I wanted it so badly. I made the second box last night. I came home from school at five and wanted my Jello. But here's where the life metaphor begins to develop. I was in a bad mood. Crabby, sad, snarky, just bleh. For some reason, I thought lime Jello might make me feel better. But I couldn't just have it; I had to make it...and then WAIT for it. FOUR HOURS!!! That's a long time to have a craving. So I made it immediately. And then had dinner. (Check Jello: not hard.)And read. And watched some telly. (Check Jello: not hard.)And talked to boyfriend on the phone. And read some more. (Check Jello: not hard.) And got in the tub. And called Heather (yes, while I was in the tub.). Got ready for bed. Checked Jello: HARD! But now I'm ready for bed. PJ's, clean, brushed teeth. But, DAMMIT, I was gonna eat that Jello I had been craving. So I did. I ate half of the bowl. And it was good. But it wasn't as good as it would've been four hours previously when I REALLY, REALLY wanted it. I brushed my teeth again (and my tongue, which was now green) and tried to fall asleep. But I couldn't stop thinking about how Jello is like life. When you REALLY want something, if it's worth having, you have to wait for it. And usually more than four hours. College, for example. It's a bitch, right? But it's basically waiting for the Jello to get hard. Because once you're out (done waiting), you get what you REALLY want: a fulfilling career and some actual money. But then other things happen, and you find yourself in the Waiting Place once again. In his book, "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" Dr. Suess describes the Waiting Place as "a most useless place". (If you haven't read this, you're missing out.) And it is. It is the most frustrating state imaginable. I'm waiting. Waiting for the Jello to get hard. For life to start. To get what I want. To find the answers to my two penetrating questions. For someone to bring me the damn Jello in it's perfectly gelled state right when I want it. (Two snarky comments to leave you with: David, if you feel the need to make some comment about there always being room for Jello, go ahead. I would expect nothing less. Everyone else, if you dare to point out to me that I could've gone to the store and bought the prepared cups of Jello, then you've completely missed the point and I pity you. Plus, those are NOT as good as making it yourself, and about six times as expensive.) Current Mood: complacent Current Music: "You Can Call Me Al" Paul Simon (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
2:10 pm	Yesterday's Question Answered Why do I do this again? Because of days like today. Yesterday I finally told my 7th-graders that alas, I would not be their teacher next year as they were anticipating. Today, they walked in with a large piece of posterboard with the words "WE'LL MISS YOU MS. WATERSTON!!" all in glitter. Nearly all of them included special messages with their signatures and they even had several teachers sign it. ALL IN ONE DAY! They spent their before/after school and hallway times getting signatures so they could give it to me today. Needless to say, tears were shed. Current Mood: touched (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
1:07 pm	Why do I do this again? Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks) during which you question all of your life choices? They suck, huh? Long story short: my seniors found a new way to combat senioritis: cheating. (Okay, I just used two colons in one sentence; that must be wrong.) So, now I'm the bitch teacher who actually provides consequences for their actions. And oh, what consequences they are. Mostly, I'm just really personally hurt and offended that they have betrayed my trust. But I don't want to talk about it. That's why I blogged it. The end. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: Enya- Memory of Trees (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
9:08 am	My white flag and my first entry I surrender! I surrender! For over a year I have been faithfully ignoring the urgings to create a blog. Well here it is, kiddies. You win. I created a blog. I needed an out. I needed to write. Writing in my personal journal at my bedside will go on, but with no audience, there is no reason to actually attempt a decent-sounding rant. If I want to be an actual writer someday, I need to start somewhere. Also, I have a post. I started writing in my random thoughts document at school this morning. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I decided it seemed like something someone would post on a blog. So, I gave in. I created a blog just for this post. I will try my very best not to give in to my fear of posting so incessantly it will take over my life. Here's hoping. Happy reading. Cheers. My rant of the day: When? When did it happen? When did it become perfectly mainstream for any person of any age to cry out the Name of Our Savior in an anything-but-religious sense? Am I really THAT naïve that it’s been going on all around me for years and I’ve only started to notice it in the last? Has it been mainstream forever and I never noticed because I was raised in a household full of fucks, shits, and damns, the only forbidden words being the Lord’s varying Names? I need to get to the bottom of this because it is now affecting me in my job. Last year about March, I was dating this Catholic fellow. I would even go so far to say very Catholic, as his mother was some sort of lay minister or something that I never really did understand. Now he took the Lord’s name in vain nearly every other sentence. No fooling. I was thoroughly offended, but not bold enough to come right out and say on our third date, “Hey, um, could you NOT desecrate the name of my Savior? Thanks.” So I talked to a friend. My best friend, and a pretty good friend of his (she’s how we met…I still blame her….just kidding.) gave me some info. With some sage words, and tender codlings, she did get me to talk to him about it, but the one thing she said that I remember vividly was “Oh, it’s a Catholic thing.” Wa-huh? A Catholic thing? You mean that religion that I was trying to learn about to better understand? That religion that I had always perceived as strict and organized? The religion that I had somewhat envied for its way of taking care of its own and its divine practices? THAT religion? Huh. Strange. This got me thinking then and it has stirred my cup again, but this time not on a relationship level, but at my job. Thrice this year I have thrown (well, asked to leave) students out of my classroom. The first time was a senior girl with whom I was openly arguing. She crossed the line by calling me a fucking schizo. That was September. The second time was a senior boy who said, “Jesus Christ woman!” when I asked him to get his assignment from his locker. Line crossed again. That was October. The third time was yesterday (April 12). I was arguing with a senior boy during an open class discussion. I was trying to regain some order and he refused to be quiet. Everyone else was listening, but he refused. He wanted to finish his story. I asked him to share it with everyone then (but not in a mocking elementary teacher kind of way, I was serious). He refused. So I told him to just be quiet then. He refused. I asked again nicely. I never once raised my voice or got out of my chair. I was completely non-threatening. Then he says, “Jesus Christ, why do you gotta make it so hard?” I told him he had just crossed the line, but that I’d be willing to ignore it if he would just sit down and be quiet. Needless to say he didn’t. So I asked him to leave, at which point he said, “This is fucking ridiculous,” and left the room. We moved on with our discussion as if nothing had happened. But I was plagued with this all night. Not because I am now waiting to see if he will apologize. Not because his mother called this morning to talk with me about the incident (word travels incredibly fast in this small town). And not because I’m afraid of the awkward situation that has the potential to develop this afternoon when he shows up to class. I am plagued because I genuinely believe that he doesn’t realize what it was he said that crossed the line. Mainstream. Why is this okay? If a student were to say “fuck you” to me, he’d automatically be suspended for three days. But because of the separation of church and state, a.k.a., no religion in schools, this has little to no shock value when the administration or students are concerned. I am offended. Does that not matter? And considering I teach in a school that is 98% white, I would imagine that a good percentage of these people consider themselves Christian. This is Southern Minnesota small town, baby. We probably have about fifteen Muslim students. I know one that even prays every day after lunch. She is in my homeroom. Something tells me she doesn’t take the name of her lord in vain. I can’t be sure, of course, I don’t go around polling my students about their religious beliefs, but as a predominantly Christian society, we sure take this incredibly un-Christian-like behavior lightly. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I didn’t do research. I don’t have a solution. I am merely expressing my outrage. I am not immune; why are so many others? I can think of a handful of occasions when I myself have uttered the Lord’s name in vain. I was so shocked I covered my mouth with my hand and immediately prayed. I was that ashamed. But I will say fuck and shit without batting an eye. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: The hum of the vent in my classroom (10 Comments |Comment on this)